Yesterday I attended All Points East (APE) festival at Victoria park in London. I won’t lie, going into this festival I was extremely anxious because I was putting myself in a position that was full of all things bad for me, minus the music of course.
Festivals to me before bipolar were the place where I could drink till my hearts content, do substances that weren’t good for me (I wasn’t stupid I never did anything extreme, just your normal 18-22 stuff) and dance the night away until I’d head to bed with a smile on my face knowing that I’d had the best time ever. This time however, I don’t drink, I 100% do touch substances anymore and I have a sleeping pattern that I have to stick by.
Music festivals are something I can’t give up just because of bipolar and something I 100% shouldn’t need to give up. I’m allowed to be in a situation that throws everything bad at me and I say no. This is why I chose a festival not far from home, so if I needed to get out I could. I went with people who look out for me and I knew wouldn’t tempted me (no repeats of Valencia lols). I had the most amazing time. I still got into crowds, I danced all night and I found tonic water and cranberry juice!
I FINALLY saw Catfish and The Bottlemen after years of waiting! I also saw The Hunna and Frank Carter and the Rattlesnakes! I danced with my best friends, had festival food and sat around meeting tons of new people.
This situation has highlighted to me that just because I’m changing things I do with my life now that I have a diagnosis of bipolar doesn’t mean I have to give old Rosie completely up. Rosie is still very much here and Rosie still very much loves festivals.
If you suffer with bipolar disorder or anxiety I’d highly recommend trying a day festival in a city near you. Easy escapes and the festivals are more of an outside gig!
I’ll leave you with a picture my awesome friend took (she also designed my blog logo, I will link her in her own blog post shortly!) of me enjoying one of my favourite bands on my friends shoulders (RIP Josh)