Last week I had a comment made on one of my old posts about my eating disorder – which has since been deleted. Someone took it upon themselves to ask me how I had the cheek to still write about an eating disorder when I’m now “fine” …
People with eating disorders and people who are in recovery are never “fine”. Eating disorders don’t just go away after a few years and we go back to being normal, we just learn how to cope and restructure our lives. Just because someone is healthy and back to eating does not mean they are now fine. Eating disorders take years to battle and are with us life, not just for Christmas, you know that saying about dogs being for life not just for Christmas, well it’s the same thing… you get my drift.
I still to this day suffer. When my life is stressful or I have lots of change, my eating disorder is at its worse and I’ll slip back into old habits of skipping meals. I won’t tell anyone and then a few days after I’ll realise that I’ve only had dinner for the past 4 days and then I correct myself, look at why, regain control and then carry on with the battle. Some days I must remind myself to eat, for example if I know it’s going to be particularly busy in work I will put a reminder for lunch into my calendar.
So, to the person who said I’m fine. Here’s a list of things you should never say to someone who has an eating disorder. Please take note!
- You’re fine now.
- You’re eating now, so you’re fine?
- We don’t have to go to dinner if you don’t want to.
- Do you still have an eating disorder?
- Is it safe for you to go to the gym?
- Oh, you’re going to the gym… are you eating ok?
- You don’t need to work out, you look skinny enough.
This one really grinds my gears! I’m going to the gym to increase my fitness not to get skinny FFS!
- You look like you’ve lost weight, are you… you know… ok?
- Where’s the salad’s gone? They used to look so nice!
- I wish I could stick to a strict diet like you!
This one as well! I eat salads because I like them not because I’m being healthy!
- People don’t like you being all bones.
- You’re really bones.
- You have so many stretch marks, were you big before?!
Skinny people get stretch marks when you put on weight.
- You’ve had this forever now, surely, you’re ok now!
- You have another health issue?
Eating disorders are normally an underlying problem of something a lot bigger.
- Yeah, we get it you used to have an eating disorder.
- It’s not that hard to eat.
- But you’re not actually skinny.
- Why would you hide food, that’s disgusting?
- Well done you ate a meal!
Eating disorders are like any other disorder or disease, you wouldn’t say to a cancer patient that they should shut up about their story when they hit remission so why would you say that to someone with an eating disorder.
Anyone who openly speaks about their eating disorder I praise you so highly! It’s a tough struggle and like I said before they are with you for life, just because we eat easily now doesn’t mean we won’t have an off day where we won’t eat anything.
Please be careful before you type or speak something related to a health issue. Something you say could be minor BUT could set someone off.